Jan 31, 2022
Memory: A fragile thing. Take that memory for a sail on the lake. A piece of it breaks, so you replace it with a new one. You sail your memory again, and you break it again. This keeps happening, you keep replacing your memory with new parts until you realize... this metaphor makes no sense, and the Contestants don’t...
Jan 24, 2022
The Professional Contestants are headed to Japan to hang out and pal around with 142 of our newest best friends! We're gonna do obstacle courses! We're gonna eat biscuits! And if any war hungry Counts or Generals even THINK about forcing us to fight on their behalf, we're gonna incite a revolution!
Zach has definitely...
Jan 17, 2022
Many people believe that the time we are born affects the kind of people we become. In this case, we've got to do battle with eight beefy warriors who are all riled up and evil just because they were born on a "dark day." Looks like we have two options: change their birthdays, or tickle them until they stop.
Zach...
Jan 10, 2022
Not only do we need to teach a lesson to some misguided men, but we also just straight up dislike this gameshow's skeevy energy. Luckily, we can both avoid talking about this show AND enlist some help in teaching a lesson by turning to one of our favorite topics. That's right, the Oompa Loompas are coming to show these...
Jan 3, 2022
We generally try to be pretty decent humans when carrying out our various plans. But honestly, someone can be convinced that the FBI is searching for a real life genie, they're gonna get scammed eventually, so we might as well be the ones doing the scamming.
Zach is well versed in the Pawn Stars Universe, Jared is...